Females as Leaders

(This piece was written in April for a magazine but was neither published nor refused until last week)

I have been involved in leadership discussions during last two weeks and then at the end I just got a chance to attend a leaders’ summit in Islamabad. Before I go ahead and talk about leadership qualities and traits I want to share one important feature of this summit. There were 36 male speakers and only five female speakers among the panelists. Yes the host was also a very smart and intelligent female, so there was a 1:6 ratio if I include her. Having this thought in my mind I turned round and looked at the Sheesh Mahal Hall of Serena Hotel where I think the whole gathering  did not have a bigger ratio of female audience or may be even lesser. The question in my mind was why? Why is it so, while a few months back I heard the rector of NUST claiming at an international forum that females are coming into research studies of practical fields more than men. This makes me think even deeper, not only about the gender differences but also about what is happening at higher education in Pakistan. These questions need further elaboration and research to be answered. Yet one answer that comes from my experience of last ten years in higher education is that in middle class families of Pakistan,men after fourteen or maximum sixteen years of schooling are supposed to get into economic activity. While within this class there are many “liberal-conservative” families who let their girls study as much as they want, and allow them to keep studying until they get married; but do not allow them to get into workforce. A woman’s earning is a source of disgrace for them.  Thus I find one reason and tell myself that if you sit in such a gathering of “professional leaders” definitely you will find more men than women. And yes if it was a gathering of development sector instead of more from business and corporate sector then the ratio could also have been different.

Let’s forget for a moment that how many females are there and how many more are ready to come. How many of them will find their way and how many of them will be lost in the chadar aur char diwari somewhere. Let us take a closer look at the leadership qualities and traits. Some decades back the trait theory of leadership was claiming that leaders are born with certain personality traits and that is why they lead; then the behaviorist theories brought in some more logical reasoning of stimulus response relationship to explain how in various situations people behave differently. Now in the age of postmodernism when we sit and talk about leadership the question is not if one can become a leader or not, the question is not about good or bad leadership the question is more about what sort of leader a person can be or will be. The assumption today is that everyone is and can perform as leader when the situation is so. Some people only show leadership skills under a crisis and some keep showing and applying their leadership skills in their everyday work and interactions, while some other lead in a way that they really make things happen that affect a larger group of people.

I am thinking now within Pakistani cultural context and trying to chart out what differentiates female leaders from male leaders; the first thing that comes to my mind is females’tendency of attending to minute details and not missing out anything that may create trouble later on. They might not be very good at vision crafting but they are very good at turning dreams into realities. They visualize a home decor and they turn this into reality with their art and aesthetic sense. They love to take a closer look and think of phenomenon in simple and comprehensible manner.  Females of this region are brought up with a sense of responsibility to play the significant role of mothers and home makers; so the role of family builder makes them good team builders too. They do not tend to work in isolation they work in collaboration and want the people around them to be involved and included in what they do.

Something that I wish to warn my fellow females is not to pretend or not to copy their male fellows. Just be what you are. Once you are out there in your practical fields you do not need to be like men. You only need to be strong and healthy minded women. Your strength is your feminine-hood. You can make miracles happen and you can bring such changes that men do not even dream about. Go ahead take the risk of leading like a woman and see how the world will be decorated with flowers and ornaments because of your sweet aesthetic sense. 

Children know to love...we teach them hatred

Every child loves to play and mingle with the beings around until is hurt by them
Every child looks straight into eyes and tries to relate until discouraged
Every child thinks people around are no different and believes in equality

Yet we teach children in our homes, schools, mosques, churches etc.
We teach them people are different and are not equal
We teach them not to relate to everyone
We teach them not to play or mingle with those who are different

We take away their reality of life which is full of love and fill their hearts n minds with our reality of life full of negativity...
We make them believe love is not worth it, hatred is...
We tell them another minor is killed every moment at one part of this world or the other just because s/he was different...

My side of the story...simple and straight

Since I was a child I saw Jang Daily newspaper in my home. Then I grew up and I asked my dad I want The News too. In late 90s I was doing M.Sc. when my teachers were telling everyday to read news papers and asking which ones do we read. As soon as I told Jang and The News they seemed satisfied, because according to them these two were the best and authentic sources of information in Pakistan.
Then began the period of electronic media and Geo was among the very first private news channels that were given licence. We used to listen to Geo News more than any other channel, my mother would always call from the kitchen and say "it is 9 pm please switch to Geo". Later one other news channel that was appreciated in my home was the Dawn News because they did not sensationalize every thing like many others.
When I was in UK and then in USA I always wanted to watch some Pakistani channel to keep myself updated; Geo news and Geo's talk shows were definitely top of the list because they never showed or published incomplete information based on only text messages of a reporter standing on the site of an incident; rather their reporting was complete and comprehensive. I was never a regular viewer of any one talk show, Hamid Mir's show was too political for me at times but I knew he is a daring person who does not hesitate in highlighting and opening up discussions on the issues that no one else dares to do. I kept visiting Pakistan in between and I was seeing other channels also competing strongly with their high quality programs. Journalists, Anchors and News analysts were doing a remarkable job. Yet I could smell a mafia developing there too and I mentioned it at times to my friends. There were very few analysts and anchors who had a clear position on the issues and they were doing the critique with evidence.
As a PhD scholar I have developed a perspective of my own. Now I agree and disagree to others'  narrative on the bases of my experience, knowledge and evidence. I do not agree to everything said by anyone. It is impossible. I can see people on various channels supporting or sabotaging certain agendas. The conspiracy theories in past 13 -14 few years have become a strong part of our common narrative on print and electronic media. We have made it a habit to put everything on foreign "agencies" and prove our "agencies" doodh ki dhulli. People like myself who have a little knowledge of international and national politics try to explain it to people, but the common narrative is not that easy to be negated.
In past few weeks first attack on Hamid Mir and then the issue of morning show in Geo has left me heart broken once again. Not because I like everything about this channel or that I agree to every word that Hamid Mir ever said; but only because the minds of our younger generation are once again being manipulated badly. We suffered in the ages when there were no electronic media available other than a national TV, our exposure to information was limited, so we could not develop our independent thinking. Today in the age of electronic media, social networking and open access through ICT, we are once again behaving so ignorantly... I don't know what else do we need to stop following political agendas blindly.

Sense of Security and Safety

I am a child I wish to be with those elders with whom I feel safe
I am a teenager I wish to be with those friends with whom I feel safe
I am an adult I wish to be in an environment in which I feel safe
I am professional I wish to have secured working conditions
I am a citizen I wish the governance to ensure my security and safety
I am an senior citizen I need a safe place to be at

Who are these people making my children threatened to go out and play in the play grounds
Who is making my teenagers feel unsafe
Who is harassing my young adults
Who is making my workforce feel insecure
Who is spoiling the good-governance
Who is making my senior citizens pray for death...

Whoever it is cannot be accepted and allowed to make my life miserable; if s/he is in my home, in my friends' circle, in my social circle, in my workplace, in my neighborhood or anywhere around me, or even if it is ME...I need to find him/her and tell "YOU are not acceptable; you have to change and be a person who gives others a sense of security and safety!"

Banning websites fb pages and now a channel...is it a solution?

This is Pakistan. Not the only country where social media websites are banned. Not the only country where voices are silenced. Not the only country where hegemonic bodies in several forms exist and are getting stronger with every passing day. The issue here is are we ok with it? Do we really think that anyone saying or doing anything that we don't want to listen or see should be banned. And is it really possible to ban or silence voices in this time of information technology. Everything is still accessible even if we ban it. Every narrative still exist seven if we deny. Every thought still flourishes even if we try to block it.
To me the only possible way today is inclusion of all thoughts and narratives into our conversations and discourse. Let people hear various voices, let people analyze and let them find out the reality themselves instead of forcing them to believe in the single reality that we want them to believe. Let the human minds be free and let the conversations, debates and discussions happen. Lets not be afraid of difference of opinion rather let's try and support our opinions with evidence and logical reasoning. Instead of imposing one opinion on all let the opinions be built on the bases of strong evidenciary warrants.
But for that we need to be true and confident that we will be able to provide the evidence or we will admit that we were wrong...

OLD HOUSES IN THE WEST

Lets take the glasses of biases off for a while... I have recently again heard the narrative of west being insensitive, having broken homes and children sending their parents to old houses instead of taking care of them in their old age. First of all this might not be the case at all...may be it is a choice of parents, may be they preferred living alone and when they could not do that anymore they opted to go to old houses... or there can be many other cases...
Ok for a while I agree that in our social and cultural values family is a very strong unit. But as the times are turning, men and women are getting into economic activity and life patterns are changing; parents at many homes are ignored and let me say it straight forwardly they are suffering in many cases. If it becomes excessively common issue and the state or some NGOs think of providing a shelter to the old people; I don't think this is to be seen only from one point of view that only shows the negative side of it. The very positive aspect of it is that state and the people who care, take the responsibility. The old houses I have visited are facilitated and giving these old citizens a very safe and healthy option to live. I know the love n care of family is something different and can not be altered; but in my personal opinion there is much exaggeration in our narrative of love and belongingness in our family system. I have seen old people on roads spending all day out in hot n cold weather, I have seen them working and I have seen them suffering. I wish our family structures may not break but they r breaking with the passage of time. The new generation is finding it difficult at times. Plus the parents themselves might want to take the option of living separately as they do in many cases. So why not to give them some other safe and healthy option. In the so called insensitive societies I have seen the peak of sensitivity shown by many for example when a young couple was celebrating their wedding at a old house and all the people living in the old house were so happy that day...

Two claims that amaze me

I have often heard Pakistani people saying we have "talent" more than any other nation in the world. This claim is so amazing. First of all I don't how and on what bases is this analysis made. In my view there are talented people everywhere around the world. Intellect and God gifted special talents are in every corner wherever human beings live. The people who believe in this myth keep saying this and getting into a false satisfaction. A country where water, gas and almost all other resources are wasted day and night, the human resource has also been wasted to its max. We definitely have many intelligent and "talented" people but we have yet not been able to develop such education system as well as job market or any other mechanism where people could use their intellect and talent and make a real difference. Only a few with very strong nerves and will, go through all challenges and reach their larger goals in life.

Second claim is that west learnt everything from us and especially they applied the rules and teachings of our religion. I am not a religious scholar but in my view every other religion of the world gave almost the same basic human values. Every messenger of God gave the message of peace, humanity, equality, social justice, brotherhood and a lot more. So this is not just one religion this is basic human values. Anyway even if the west learnt a lot many things from us now we need to realize that we are in stagnation since long so this claim will lose its value if we do not develop further. At least for half a century we have only been teaching and learning theories and researches of west in most of our higher education institutions.

I think it is time to come out of the denial and face the reality... realization and acceptance is the first step towards the solution of the problems...lets do it and then move on!